NeemsWho can penetrate my wall?
What is it about learning to love again that has us running scared? Is the thought of entering a world of vulnerability so hard to bear that we scramble for any excuse we can find to avoid letting ourselves go?
At the end of a relationship, we work so hard at constructing an emotionally hardened wall, that any eventual penetration of this defence can be terrifying.
The healing process after two people have parted ways can be a long road upon which an extreme sense of self-reliance may sometimes be established within us.
Many of us tend to build a barricade around our hearts and defy anyone who wants to break through and begin a deeper, lasting relationship. ‘Trust’ is a word that almost becomes a stranger in our dictionaries.
The excuses we hide behind range from our preoccupation with body image to unreasonably scrutinising people’s imperfections. How many of these statements ring a familiar bell- he isn’t tall enough, she’s too chubby, he dresses weirdly, she has a lisp…and the list goes on.
Sometimes, we turn ruthless- slicing and dicing through partners under the guise of confidence and knowing what we want, when really, we are still scared of being hurt and our newfound strength refuses to acknowledge this inherent ‘weakness’.
Ironically, this strength and independence we achieve after a break-up only holds true if we are able to open our hearts up once again and let someone else in. When it comes to matters of the heart, it is just that much harder. The memories of the pain are ones that are hard to let go but are the ones that need releasing the most.
Having the confidence in ourselves to deal with things that may not work out is the key in finally attaining that level of consciousness that helps us fully experience all the things life throws our way. It is what keeps us adventurous and can help make life’s ride worthwhile.
However, I can’t help but wonder- when someone walks into our lives after we have been on our own for so long, have we unknowingly armed ourselves with enough ammunition to shoot down their advances in order to protect ourselves from being hurt again?
If we are truly ready, will these walls simply part and allow someone safe passage? If it’s the right person, do we just automatically know it’s going to be okay to place our heart into their extended hand?
Is it really easier done than said?
Neema Mohan, 3rd October 2008 ©
The Political Brief
Koala Lounge
Truth Whisperer
I think that's what I needed to hear! It's scary but not scary enough to want to walk away- that must count for something!
And 25th anniversary! That's just incredible
Thank you for dropping by...
Maybe its time to hang up your walking boots and take a chance.
SPECIAL people don't always come along that often!
Koala Lounge
Truth Whisperer
Thank you
I believe I already have!
Neems