NeemsHeart vs Past
Sometimes there comes a point in life where you find yourself standing, soul exposed, at a forked road. The neon sign ahead reads- Relationships- this way to throw yourself into one, that way to run in the other direction.
Your heart and your past appear before you- caught in a battle that seems evenly tied. The questions that spring forth are frightening.
Should you stay and finally summon the courage to face your demons?
Will it be worth it?
What if you get hurt all over again?
Have you built up enough reserves of strength to see you through the ups and downs of this next experience?
Why is it so hard to live a carefree existence and place your faith in the unknown, embracing, rather than shunning it?
And even though you know that you can’t run away from your past forever, why is it such a tempting option?
On good days, the answers shine through.
Yes you should stay because your past has an irritating way of catching up with you no matter how fast or far you run.
Yes, it can be worth it- even if it doesn’t go the way you envision, the very experience is brimming with lessons which you can learn from. The outcome may turn out to be so left field yet still be just as wonderful. Perhaps it will be everything you thought it would be. Perhaps it won’t.
Whatever the result- take confidence in the fact that you took a leap of faith. This can be a really good way of stocking up your confidence and inner strength levels. Time really can heal wounds- it takes a lot of hard work and effort but it’s worth it in the end.
Yes- you could end up hurt. However, in life, almost any decision you make has a chance of going either way. Here’s a question to ponder over- how long can you allow fear to be the dictator of your existence? You cannot go through any aspect of life avoiding getting hurt. It’s part of the roller coaster.
Running away sure is certainly an alluring option. And you are more than welcome to take it as many time as you like. But your issues are your own, and they always will be a constant companion that you can hide for a while but can’t completely shake. That is, until you face it and work through it.
Heal your heart, let go of your past.
On bad days of course, all this seems impossible to believe.
But I guess all you can do is to travel through it, with the help of good friends, professional help if you need it and copious amounts of chocolate. And when the sun shines again- and it will- allow these answers to filter through and work on believing them.
If they work for you.
Neema Mohan, 28th November 2008- ©
